Blog Response Barriers:  A number of you have told me you have had problems with the response portion of my Blog and it doesn’t seem to have any relationship to the skills and knowledge of the person trying to respond. The process works fine for some and is a total zero for others. I wanted to remove this barrier for you so I contacted wordpress by email and telephone. I spent a lot of time on this but didn’t get any real answers or solutions. This what I learned.

Go to http://www.toolsforachievers.com/wordpress/.  You can read the blog without logging in. However, you need to be a registered user to post a comment. Just follow the directions to obtain a user name and password. User names and passwords are case sensitive, requiring both to be entered exactly as specified during the registration process. If you can’t remember what you entered, you need to use the password recovery utility on the Login/Register screen. If you prefer, send your comments directly to me at toolsachievers@q.com. There — barrier removed as much as I’m able.

Next barrier:  In mid-November, I fell and injured my left knee. It became quite serious and included a nasty infection. I spent a lot of time, energy and gas running back and forth to my doctor. Three months later I was declared well. Thanks to the excellent care I received, strong antibiotics and my own willingness to cooperate with the healing process, I am completely recovered. Barrier removed!

More barriers:  We made a couple of out of state trips to visit a precious, older relative and to attend her funeral. These were self imposed barriers because we felt a real need and desire to be with this delightful family member.  We never know when there will be no more opportunities to enjoy a relationship. It’s better to work with some barriers than to remove them.

Holiday Barriers:  The holidays seem to be a barrier for many of us because of our perceived demands on our time and energy. The passing of time removes that barrier.

Computer Barrier:  Just when my world was beginning to feel normal, my computer died. I purchased another computer, hired technicians to transfer my documents, ordered new programs required for Windows 7, and am learning what I need to know to function. I removed this barrier by spending money and getting the best resources I could find as quickly as I could.

Baby Barriers:  In the middle of the computer transitions, my grandson and his wife told us they are expecting their first baby Our family is thrilled. Then, they told us they are expecting twins! I’m busy making baby blankets and I do have a deadline. Later, I hope to spend some precious time with these new family members. This is a barrier I will invite and will make no effort to remove it. However, I plan to include this barrier in my life because this experience will provide a wonderful environment for building relationships.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to remove  barriers that hinder with relationship building and I invite you to do the same.

 Giving Beyond What is Expected

My friend, Karen (not her real name), and I were walking through the patio at a charming resort in the middle of Tucson after enjoying a delightful lunch and visit. A lady sitting at a patio table asked Karen if she knew where a shopping center was in relation to the resort. She and her colleague were from London and would be in Tucson a couple of weeks working at Kit Peak Observatory. They were enchanted with Tucson and we were charmed by their lovely accents.

Karen gave them directions to nearby shopping malls and asked what local tourist sites they had visited. She also suggested various sites she thought they would enjoy. Then, she pulled out some paper and began drawing maps and writing directions to guide our visitors to those places. The visitors from London were very appreciative of her help. To top it off, Karen wrote down her name and phone number in case they needed or wanted to call her!

Giving beyond what is expected — what a beautifulway to pave the way for both personal and professional relationships!
 

              She called because she needed me. But I didn’t know that. I picked up the phone and tried to move the conversation along so I could leave to run my errands. But something in her voice stopped me. Her words came a little slower than usual and there was a catch in her voice now and then. I put my purse down and concentrated on really listening to my new friend. Listening with my ears, my heart, my mind and finally, my ears.

             After we talked about the weather and the local news, I asked her, “What’s going on? You sound a little down.” Her Marine son was being sent to Iraq for a second tour and leaving a new wife at home for a year. Suddenly I was really listening. The memories of my grandson’s tour in Iraq washed over me. I immediately understood her fears, apprehension, and doubts. I knew my experience would not really help her so I spared her the long version and simply assured her that I understood and would be there for her. Any time. Day or night.

              I “heard” her spirit rise a bit as we said goodbye. It’s good to listen with more than our ears. We can hear so much more. Listening beyond listening paves the way for relationships.

Have you ever driven through cities and wondered why some neighborhoods are so beautiful and tidy while others are shabby and even unsafe? Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have such good lives and others appear to experience failures and loss?

I think all of us have asked these questions. I certainly don’t have all of the answers and realize that much in life is beyond our control. Yet, I’ve noticed that successful people, in life and in business, nearly always share a similar trait. They possess the ability to make good choices.
This means they have the ability to foresee the results of their choices and the self discipline to make the choices that will give them the results they want. They are not driven by the “instant gratification” need or the tendency to blame others for their so called bad luck. They assume responsibility for their own lives, set goals and priorities, create an action plan and then make choices that will generate the results they want. If it doesn’t work out, they evaluate the process and start again. Their businesses flourish. Their lives are rich.
Where do we learn how to make good choices? Unfortunately, this is not formally taught in our educational system and not everyone has the good fortune to learn this skill in their home environment. If we are going to thrive as a healthy society, we must learn how to teach others how to make good choices! As a Trainer and Life Strategy Coach, I guide my clients in making good choices that will have positive, lasting impact on their lives. When more people have learned how to make good choices, we will see great improvements in business, education, government and the world in general.
I would love to hear your comments about making choices!
Donna Reed, Trainer and Life Strategy Coach
Tools For Achievers

Several years ago, after selling my networking business, I knew I wanted to work with groups and individuals but I wasn’t sure what my title should be. Clarity is one of my strengths so I used clarity to reveal my strengths and choose my title which is, Trainer and Life Strategy Coach.

How did I know this was the “right” title for me?

1. “Trainer” and “Life Strategy Coach” align with my skills and experience.

2. Feedback from clients tells me I stand in my power when I work within these roles.

3. It feels right in my gut. We all know what it’s like when something “feels right.” I trust my intuition when it speaks to me.

For several years now, I have been working as a Trainer and Life Strategy Coach. The title defines me and I define my work.

In my newsletters, available at www.toolsforachievers.com, I include Questions and Answers from the “Coach’s Corner.” Some of these Q and A excerpts from past issues are shared with you below.

Q. How do I know if a coach will help me?

A. What do you need? If you need help with decision making, moving forward or breaking new ground, the chances are the appropriate coach will be a great asset for you as you work through the processes to accomplish your goal.

Q. How can I select a coach who will be right for me?

A. Know what you need and want. Then, interview several business or life coaches to find the best match for you. Have a list of questions to ask each one. Ask them how they structure sessions, etc. Ask them about their fees. Most coaches give a free session, which may be half an hour or a full hour, to help both of you learn if you will be a good match and if they possess the skills and personality that will work best for you.

Q. What kinds of issues and situations can be helped by using a coach?

A. Almost any issue and/or situation can be improved through the assistance of a coach. There are coaches for almost any person and any need. Remember, coaches are not counselors or therapists so deep seated personal needs should be directed to the appropriate professional. There are Business Coaches, Personal Coaches, Life Coaches, Strategy Coaches and others. When you define your need, ask friends and colleagues if they know a coach who can help you. Contact the ones that interest you. By talking to them, you will learn which one(s) can serve you best.

Q. Do coaches have coaches?

A. You bet! We have our own “blind spots”, hit the wall now and then and realize we need the insights and expertise of another professional coach who can guide us.

Q. How do you know when it’s time to stop seeing your coach?

A. When you have completed the work you have been doing with your coach or when your coach no longer meets your needs. Review your reasons for hiring a coach and evaluate the progress you have made. You might want to reduce the frequency of your sessions, see your coach quarterly for a “check up” or discontinue coaching completely for the time being. The key questions is, “Have your needs been met?”

Q. What if I really disagree with something my coach asked me to do?

A. Ask your coach why she/he wants you to do this. If the reasons don’t make sense to you of if you still resist taking the action, tell your coach you are not comfortable doing this and ask if there is an alternate action to take or if you can just elliminate this action. Your coach wants to facilitate your success and growth. Clarifying what you are, and are not, willing to do contributes to your professional growth.

Q. Is it appropriate for me to contact my coach between appointments?

A. Most coaches have policies about contact with clients between appointments ranging from complete access to highly structured and scheduled phone calls and e-mails. Ask your coach what her/his policy is about this before you begin working together. This could even be the determining factor for working with a coach. Knowing the policy will set the guidelines for clear, beneficial communication between the two of you.

“Walk your talk. You gain credibility and respect when your actions match your words.”

This tip applies to both coaches and clients.

From “Networking Tips That Build Powerful Connections” by Donna M. Reed